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I had a health thing going on this past week in which I needed to intentionally rest and let my body do its thing. I hate how unnatural resting feels. I'm so used to accomplishing things or spending my non-work time doing things. When did life become all about the things I could do? And what are the alternatives to that nagging feeling that I should always be doing something?

I think I have helped quell the over-stimulation that motivated some of this over the years. Somewhat by abandoning social media and curbing my smart phone usage in general. But I still feel like I should always be using my free time towards something. Whether that's reading, gaming, crafting, etc. I'm glad I have that desire and drive to enjoy my hobbies but sometimes I'm not sure if it's coming from a genuine desire to actually partake in the hobby or is instead coming from a place of needing to feel like I'm using my time in worthwhile ways.

Rest is worthwhile. Rest has purpose. Rest should be inherent to our lives as it is the building block to all of the doing. During my health situation this past week I also had to skip caffeine for a few days. I felt like half of a human without it. I don't even consume that much caffeine a day. A strong cup of black tea, a latte, or similar in the morning and I'm typically good for the whole day. But without it there is part of my brain that is locked away from me and it's like I never fully engage with what I'm doing. There are worse vices to have but I would prefer to not need caffeine to fully wake from zombie mode. Maybe some days I just need to embrace zombie mode and be okay with not being able to access the ultra-productive part of my brain.

In an attempt to slow down, and in continuation of my adventures in analog, I have been doubling down on my efforts to replace all the things I use my smartphone for with other options. I have done a pretty good job with moving to physical notebooks and calendars for planning, taking notes, etc. One thing that I was getting tripped up by is my need for the Libby app to grab library e-books but it turns out you can access Libby via a web app too, so that was a neat find. I don't intend to abandon my smart phone, as enticing as that sounds. In part because I already have this device and getting a different one while this one is still functional would feel rather wasteful. But also because modern tech is still useful to me, especially when I'm out and about. So my approach to this area is more geared toward replacing the device with other things I can use around my home and then having it for use during those times I'm away from these solutions.

Similarly I've switched up my two-factor authentication and password management solutions to options that have desktop apps and sync to mobile apps. That has been really helpful in not needing to reach for my phone nearly as often as I used to (and then of course getting distracted by whatever other nonsense my brain tries to find its way to on my phone instead of the one thing I actually picked it up for). I also bought a wrist watch to curb that same problem of just tapping my phone for the time and being sucked in to "just check a few things" when all I wanted to know was the time. Bonus points that the watch I got also keeps track of the date, deterring yet another phone reach pattern. I've also started to keep a physical Sudoku puzzle book handy for those moments I genuinely do just want some sort of time filler. I wonder how close I am to activating my full grandma life mode.

Now that I'm back to being caffeinated again and am not primarily focused on resting I have a strong desire to dive back into everything of interest to me. I am hoping to take this bit of experience with me though and remind myself regularly to slow down and to do a bit of absolutely nothing on a semi-regular basis. Life feels short but that doesn't mean rest should be treated as optional in pursuit of getting the most out of it.